Relate With Your Teen and Gain Their Trust
Relate With Your Teen and Gain Their Trust
by: Tammy Pinarbasi
We were all teens at one time for some many years ago even
if we don't like to admit it. Many of us can look back and
say our teen years were good, but with many ups and downs as
we approached adulthood. Some of us maybe were lucky enough
to have parents we could talk to about anything with ease.
Today's teens deal with many of the same issues, but also
deal with some very difficult issues that are more prevalent
in today's youth.
Your teen will need guidance and most likely seek advice. As
parents we need to help insure that our teens will come to
us with most of these issues. We need to create an
atmosphere that will encourage our teens to turn to us. It
can be quite a task to get your teen to open up and I found
with my teenage boys they were a little reluctant to
discuss personal issues. It's quite normal for your teen to
seem more distant as they work their way to adulthood. Many
times they will seek advice from their peers, but don't
worry, this is normal for kids this age.
Peers play a big part in the teenage years and strong
healthy relationships with their peers is important to them.
More importantly though, I believe they need to be able to
relate and confide in their parents as much as possible.
It's likely this will not happen without some encouragement
from the parents. Making ourselves available, showing we
understand, and that they can talk openly with us without
judgment plays a key factor in getting them to open up and
feel comfortable doing so.
Some issues today's teens face may be difficult or
uncomfortable to discuss, but looking the other way will not
help. If they can't come to you they will seek advice or
help elsewhere. Personally, I would much rather have my teen
come to me regardless of the topic, rather than turn to
another source who does not love and care for them the way I
do. We as parents don't want our teens turning to someone
who may not have their best interests in mind.
The guidance and advice they receive during these wonderful,
but yet difficult years can impact the choices they make in
the future, therefore, the present time is crucial. While
some decisions they may have to make will seem
insignificant, some could affect the rest of their lives.
Whether the importance is big or small they need to know
they can turn to their parents for everything.
I have found with my teens, by offering stories or
comparisons to when I was their age, is an effective way to
get the conversation started. In a relaxed one on one
situation, casually bringing things up opened the door to
allow my boys to talk about a similar situation they may
have experienced. Sometimes, they tend to refer to a friend
that was going through something similar, which very well
could be the case, but at the same time, I take it as a
hint. If a close peer is going through it, most likely, they
are too or will be.
By letting teens know through comparison, that when you were
a teen, you too had similar issues and was once their age,
will encourage them to open up. Will everything they want
to talk about be a major dilemma? The answer is No. Will
they suddenly spill their guts and divulge everything to you
from this point on? Not likely because it takes time to
establish that kind of trust. Yes, they have been your kids
for many years and they trust you, but this is Trust taken
to a whole new level.
The idea is to keep the lines of communication open, show
them you care, that you understand and you are there for
them. Build a strong level of trust with your teen and
hopefully when the big issues come up, you may be the first
to know.
About The Author
This article was written by Tammy Pinarbasi, Owner of the
Parent Super Site, http://www.parentsupersite.com. You are
welcome to reprint this article or use it on your website,
however, a link back to this site is appreciated....
admin@parentsupersite.com
Here is a downloadable e-book that may help
What every parent needs to know.....
"HOW TO GET CLOSE TO YOUR TEEN"
by Sheila McCormick
STOP the arguing! STOP the door slamming!
STOP the misunderstandings!
Your teen will thank you for it!
You can download here, even if it is 2am and it will only take a
few minutes
by: Tammy Pinarbasi
We were all teens at one time for some many years ago even
if we don't like to admit it. Many of us can look back and
say our teen years were good, but with many ups and downs as
we approached adulthood. Some of us maybe were lucky enough
to have parents we could talk to about anything with ease.
Today's teens deal with many of the same issues, but also
deal with some very difficult issues that are more prevalent
in today's youth.
Your teen will need guidance and most likely seek advice. As
parents we need to help insure that our teens will come to
us with most of these issues. We need to create an
atmosphere that will encourage our teens to turn to us. It
can be quite a task to get your teen to open up and I found
with my teenage boys they were a little reluctant to
discuss personal issues. It's quite normal for your teen to
seem more distant as they work their way to adulthood. Many
times they will seek advice from their peers, but don't
worry, this is normal for kids this age.
Peers play a big part in the teenage years and strong
healthy relationships with their peers is important to them.
More importantly though, I believe they need to be able to
relate and confide in their parents as much as possible.
It's likely this will not happen without some encouragement
from the parents. Making ourselves available, showing we
understand, and that they can talk openly with us without
judgment plays a key factor in getting them to open up and
feel comfortable doing so.
Some issues today's teens face may be difficult or
uncomfortable to discuss, but looking the other way will not
help. If they can't come to you they will seek advice or
help elsewhere. Personally, I would much rather have my teen
come to me regardless of the topic, rather than turn to
another source who does not love and care for them the way I
do. We as parents don't want our teens turning to someone
who may not have their best interests in mind.
The guidance and advice they receive during these wonderful,
but yet difficult years can impact the choices they make in
the future, therefore, the present time is crucial. While
some decisions they may have to make will seem
insignificant, some could affect the rest of their lives.
Whether the importance is big or small they need to know
they can turn to their parents for everything.
I have found with my teens, by offering stories or
comparisons to when I was their age, is an effective way to
get the conversation started. In a relaxed one on one
situation, casually bringing things up opened the door to
allow my boys to talk about a similar situation they may
have experienced. Sometimes, they tend to refer to a friend
that was going through something similar, which very well
could be the case, but at the same time, I take it as a
hint. If a close peer is going through it, most likely, they
are too or will be.
By letting teens know through comparison, that when you were
a teen, you too had similar issues and was once their age,
will encourage them to open up. Will everything they want
to talk about be a major dilemma? The answer is No. Will
they suddenly spill their guts and divulge everything to you
from this point on? Not likely because it takes time to
establish that kind of trust. Yes, they have been your kids
for many years and they trust you, but this is Trust taken
to a whole new level.
The idea is to keep the lines of communication open, show
them you care, that you understand and you are there for
them. Build a strong level of trust with your teen and
hopefully when the big issues come up, you may be the first
to know.
About The Author
This article was written by Tammy Pinarbasi, Owner of the
Parent Super Site, http://www.parentsupersite.com. You are
welcome to reprint this article or use it on your website,
however, a link back to this site is appreciated....
admin@parentsupersite.com
Here is a downloadable e-book that may help
What every parent needs to know.....
"HOW TO GET CLOSE TO YOUR TEEN"
by Sheila McCormick
STOP the arguing! STOP the door slamming!
STOP the misunderstandings!
Your teen will thank you for it!
You can download here, even if it is 2am and it will only take a
few minutes
posted by CtB @ 2:37 PM
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